Fear

This morning I found a rather large black widow in my laundry room hovering over the garbage can. I can only remember one other time in the past 10 years where I felt nearly paralyzed with fear. I don't have a general fear of spiders or any phobia that I can think of, I have no problem using my bare hands to smack a spider if one crosses my path and I chopped a rattlesnake in half with a snow shovel just 2 weeks ago. For some reason, I felt cold and started to tremble - I'm completely puzzled by this 'fear' nonsense! In any normal situation, I'd have my wits about me and would have gone to get my camera. However, I just stood there and stared at it. This creepy uninvited guest hung there in front of me.

David walked in to see what I was doing. I pointed to the spider and told him it was poisonous, that a little bite could put him in the hospital. Then I took the fly swatter and smashed it. Wow that was a giant mess, it practically exploded all over the wall. And what's worse is that I keep looking around the house as if I'll find more. The thought really creeps me out. I think this fear has something to do with my 'spider dreams' and how I wake up hitting my pillow in the middle of the night. I've had nights where I could swear a black widow is crawling onto my pillow. I don't realize it's not real until I am fully awake.... and after throwing my pillow to the ground or beating it. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders, is there a word for the fear of just black widows?


I googled for a picture, just looking at it gives me the shivers.